The guilt I feel is really beyond me and beyond comprehension. I have to make good of my words to _'s mom because if she didn't actually cut a deal with me, I'd be facing juvenile charges. _'s mom mentioned something along the lines of how when I liked her, I could control my anger. I'm sorry but she stands corrected because I love her which is why I controlled my anger. I know what I did wasn't something of a small matter but that violent outbreak happened because... for reasons I've yet to figure out myself. I really won't know till I start receiving help.
I'm keeping my distance too because I love her and she has every right to forget me and move on from this. She has to, she deserves some proper happiness. I'm not trying to sound all high and mighty from saying all these but these are my genuine thoughts as much as I want her to wait for me to get better.
Story of my life
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