27

I can't find the right words to phantom how I've been feeling the past 24 hours. The mere thought of something which was said or happened sends electrifying waves through my veins. It was something which feels so new and different, yet it felt like something so familiar.

2:27 pm

After how things had played out before, I don't feel any more sadness or loss. What we shared has been embedded in my soul. There is no sense of loss because I'd carry a part of you with me everywhere I go. 

Awakening thoughts

We have been through the craziest things, said the harshest things to each other and more importantly, we loved one another in a way which we could never imagine loving someone else the same way. We both have flaws that'd be the death of us whenever we are together but flaws do not just go away in a matter of days, weeks, months.

We both agreed on working on those issues and we both knew what we were getting into. It will not be a smooth sailing journey because every relationship matures at its own pace, I suppose? Unless the relationship is meant to be in the dumpster then that would be different. Obviously, not ours because if it was, we would not be this miserable over the situation we are in.

People may judge, give their opinions and be critical of our relationship but that does not mean we are 'bad for each other' right? - what does being bad for each other means? Are we going to end up eating each other's toes and fingers....? There are days you want to kill me for the way I am and there are days I wished you would just stop being so.... You but does it really mean we are bad for each other?

I am full of flaws and I have hurt you once too many times before but I have never stopped feeling the way I did since day 1. I cannot make things better within a short period of time and I KNOW WE HAD ALMOST 3 YEARS TO WORK ON THIS but a relationship is a growing process. We cannot possibly compare ours to someone else's and how we roll makes our relationship, our relationship. 

It has been almost 3 years and if running away, isolating ourselves from one another is the key solution to this, it would have succeeded the first time it happened. Not only that, if what we shared is meant to be in the pit, the mutual feeling of our love growing stronger and more with every passing day would be non existent.

Alas, if this 'right decision' you are making is truly going to be a decision to satisfy you in the long run then I'd be glad for you. I will not even view it as a decision because you never had to choose in the first place.