Violet and Daisy

Aye, spending my Saturday afternoon with no after a night partying feels with a playlist of post punk + alternatives gods. And of course, a huge ass mug of iced red date. What an aunty drink...... but I likes. Finally getting my cracked ass iPhone which behaves as though it is on crack replaced later on. Don't know if I should get a temporary replacement and wait for the rumoured iPhone 5S coming out in 10 days (?) or just get the iPhone 5 (I had one at the start of the year but lost it within 1 week....) Hmm.

A little snippet from 2 weeks back: ROJAK! 2013 at Wavehouse, Sentosa with everyone's favourite disc jockey spinning, SPECIAL K.

Had a pretty nice evening after work yesterday with the girls + Jomanda. The concoction of Starbuck's Iced Chocolate, Kith's Aglio Olio (WITH BACON) and somebody's heart shaped Corn bread muffins did not go along well even though I had them all at 3 separate timings.
Caught the movie, Violet and Daisy with Jomanda after the girls left for home! I would never want to make any decisions which concerns Jo after last night.... God damn it, this woman is so annoying. That is 'annoying' with a sad, sad, sad tone.
The movie was such a tragically sweet movie. Yes, 2 teenage, quirky, female assassins. Did I mention they are pretty too? Mmm. I'd recommend this movie to anyone who wants a change from this summer's blockbusters.

The last time before Violet and Daisy I watched a show, it was The Conjuring. A brainless movie which makes you lose sleep and nothing else. Call me emotionally deranged but I absolutely love movies which sort of gives me something to think about. Movies which you can actually decipher hidden messages/ meanings or whatever.

The movie + pre dawn conversation with Jo + seeing the girls was a nice start to this very quiet, quiet weekend for me

And relating my emotions and thoughts to my favourite movies. What a sad and pathetic slob I am indeed, haha

i must be emo

we laid next to each other, skin to skin with my arms wrapped around you on a dark February morning. nothing about the disagreement we had the night before about what we were watching on tele. nothing about how your eyes swelled up with sadness when I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. all the afflictions we've experienced, gone. just me falling more and more in love with you as we laid there, listening to each other's breathing.

never recalled being in such an oasis of serenity besides whenever i am next to you. doesn't matter if it was that particular February morning or a afternoon spent at your place watching sitcoms. up till now, not a day goes by without me recalling how these precious moments with you bared face, no fashionable clothes or combed hair magnifies your beauty and i try so hard to picture how it felt like to stroke your hair telling you how much I loved you

27

I can't find the right words to phantom how I've been feeling the past 24 hours. The mere thought of something which was said or happened sends electrifying waves through my veins. It was something which feels so new and different, yet it felt like something so familiar.

2:27 pm

After how things had played out before, I don't feel any more sadness or loss. What we shared has been embedded in my soul. There is no sense of loss because I'd carry a part of you with me everywhere I go. 

Awakening thoughts

We have been through the craziest things, said the harshest things to each other and more importantly, we loved one another in a way which we could never imagine loving someone else the same way. We both have flaws that'd be the death of us whenever we are together but flaws do not just go away in a matter of days, weeks, months.

We both agreed on working on those issues and we both knew what we were getting into. It will not be a smooth sailing journey because every relationship matures at its own pace, I suppose? Unless the relationship is meant to be in the dumpster then that would be different. Obviously, not ours because if it was, we would not be this miserable over the situation we are in.

People may judge, give their opinions and be critical of our relationship but that does not mean we are 'bad for each other' right? - what does being bad for each other means? Are we going to end up eating each other's toes and fingers....? There are days you want to kill me for the way I am and there are days I wished you would just stop being so.... You but does it really mean we are bad for each other?

I am full of flaws and I have hurt you once too many times before but I have never stopped feeling the way I did since day 1. I cannot make things better within a short period of time and I KNOW WE HAD ALMOST 3 YEARS TO WORK ON THIS but a relationship is a growing process. We cannot possibly compare ours to someone else's and how we roll makes our relationship, our relationship. 

It has been almost 3 years and if running away, isolating ourselves from one another is the key solution to this, it would have succeeded the first time it happened. Not only that, if what we shared is meant to be in the pit, the mutual feeling of our love growing stronger and more with every passing day would be non existent.

Alas, if this 'right decision' you are making is truly going to be a decision to satisfy you in the long run then I'd be glad for you. I will not even view it as a decision because you never had to choose in the first place. 

2013

New commitments. Heavier responsibilities. Different perspectives. Changed mindsets.