What gives me hope

It's 1:33am and I'm still not sleeping. Mainly because I can't sleep and also because I don't have to go to school for the next one week due to chickenpox. Thank God! But this one week only means I've to do a lot of self-studying at home. 43 more days to my next O-level paper and also the start to the rest of my other papers. I'm going to burn out on these days and stay focus on the game. I know I can. Need to push myself harder though because this past week has been miserable because I could barely do any studying due to the itching, pain, aches and fever :/ Terrible pox.

So anyway, I logged on to my formspring a few minutes ago and the question that is being administered by formspring today is: What makes you feel hopeful? Well, my answer there was something vague and here I go... going to talk about the things that makes me feel hopeful... yeah.

There are many things which makes me feel hopeful. First of all, it is the love my mom(step mom to be precise) has for the family. I'd admit at times I just feel like ripping her guts out for pissing me off but I can't deny that she has taught me a lot about the things I should know in Life. When my dad married her with Dulcie and I in tow, we were almost like non existent citizens with no health booklets etc. She was the one who brought my sister and I to get our vaccinations done, got our citizenship done, brought us to the clinic when we were ill, got my dad to stop drinking & smoking, calmed my dad's behavior and so much more. She didn't give up on my dad + this family even when things were so shitty and too hurtful for her to bear. Even when she said she has given up, she still remained hopeful that things would work out for her and my dad. She's more of a mother to me than my own mom who was never fucking there because all she cares about is her American life. All the things she's done and her love gives me tremendous hope because it tells me that the going is never easy for anyone but it is always important to have faith + love.

Secondly, the love that Bonnie has for our relationship gives me hope. As cliche as all these may sound, she is like my mom. As shitty and messed up I am, she hasn't given up on me and she's still willing to work at this with me.. Besides my parents, she's the only person who hasn't given up on me even after I put her through hell on Earth. Another about her that gives me hope is that she has changed me in so many ways that so many people tried to do so but failed. I thought I was a hopeless case, never going to mend my disgusting behavior but nope, she proved me wrong.

These 2 are the ladies of my life and I love 'em very much. Honestly don't know what I would do without 'em.

This one's for you Mom, love you
Another thing I love about 'em is that they both get along very well with each other, HEE :B