This week started off on a pretty alright note. It's only Tuesday but I already feel like dying. I have so many mock papers to do for math, it's not even funny anymore. I have bloody 9 papers to finish but here I am, blogging. I need to blog to get things off my chest. By blogging, it's also my only hope that I'd be able to get my thoughts & feelings across to her if she still reads my blog.
Things have been so crazy and I'm starting to feel beyond despair. With her telling me that she likes someone and seeing her tweets, it was like someone dropped a fat boy on me every single waking moment. I don't know what else is there left for me to do to convince her to stay. She's lost all hopes and feelings for me. I'm finally starting to understand why do people actually feel really shitty after a break up. It's just too bad I've to experience this less than a month to the big O. It's hard to accept the fact that she has moved on, it's fucking hard but what else can I do?
After pouring my heart out to her, all she said to me was to change. I really am trying. Even after changing, I doubt it would bring her back to me because she seems to be liking that guy a lot & that guy seems to be crazy in love with her...
Even though I've already given up on us being a couple ever again, a part of me would always love her. After someone leaves you, all you have are memories. She may not love me or cherish what we had but this relationship meant a lot to me. More than anyone can ever understand. I may end up as a lonely old lady but I know what we had is enough to sustain things through for me. If she ever misses me one day and thinks that she might still love me, I hope she'd come back, as a friend.
All I'm left with is forever and always.
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