I will be fine

Yesterday and today was one crazy ride of emotions. I had a lot of time to think things over and a lot of time for the words that she said to sink in. It still hurts to a certain degree thinking about what she said and knowing that she's completely over this relationship/ moved on to another dude but I guess what everyone around me have been trying to say is finally starting to take its effect on me.

I won't deny that it'd be hard to see her with that guy but what is done is done. We had our good times and we had our chance at love. Perhaps I wasn't the one for her and I wasn't the one that was able to give her hope but at least for me, this relationship has made me a better person. I'm still trying to be better but hey, that's something good taken out of the relationship. Minus all the petty fighting and shitty misery I put her through, I think it was good while it lasted. She may not see any good in the relationship but I did and that's good enough for now.

Ah fuck, just did something really stupid. I shouldn't have looked at the old activities we shared on Facebook and stuff. Memories are flooding back in my head but I will be fine. I'll get over this, I'm getting there. She may not have anything good to remember me by but I'll always think of her as the girl I met at *$. It's always better to remember someone in the good light than to be bitter about what they did/ say which hurt you right? I don't know but yeah, I'm sticking to that.

All along I thought the closure that I needed was something all sweet and lovely dovey but I realised sometimes it's better when the closure it's more amicable and monotone 'cause it only makes it easier for at least one party to move on. Knowing that she doesn't love me anymore kinda makes it easier to move on though it hurts like hell but hey.... the world's as fucked up as it is (to quote her)

Happy tenth monthsary to you. It doesn't mean anything to you anymore but it still holds memories for me. I wish nothing but the best for you.