20 seconds

“Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery and I promise you, something great will come of it.”


I was in serious contemplation to do something earlier on and I very well know the consequences that might come out of it if I were to do it, but after attempts to get the 20 seconds of insane courage, I just backed out. Simply because for the past 3 months, nothing much has played out in my favour and I just told myself, "hey you know what Shari, maybe you should just forget about doing something which might put your future at risk and just get on with whatever you were doing before pondering about this."


Talked to a friend about this earlier on in the evening and he said "If you are going to do this now, you will know what would come out of doing this but by not doing so, you are just going to live the rest of your life, thinking of what could have been instead of knowing what could have been. Live with the knowledge of knowing what happened, not regrets" and of course followed by the norms of having a conversation with your close friend's ex boyfriend. Well, pretty obviously I do not want to be living with the regrets of not executing this action and for losing the insane courage to do it but one day, surely I know I'd do it. Maybe it is when I do not give it second thoughts at all and just do it without even stopping for a second to ponder and maybe it 'd happen when I am least expecting myself to do so. Like a moment of folly or in the words of We Bought A Zoo, literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. 


Perhaps now is not the right time. Or maybe there will never be a right time. Just 20 seconds of me being so damn full of courage, yes. 


and my bad if this post sounds pretty much repetitive