It seems like she's starting to have doubts about things changing for the better and more importantly me changing. I can't say much about it because I've yet to start on the professional help I need due to all the public holidays and shit. I can't say much about it too because I did hurt her after all and she does have the right to move on and jump start her life again.
She does have a whole life ahead of her and she deserves so much better than me + my issues. I guess no matter how much I change in the course of receiving help, it doesn't change the fact that she was hurt badly by me and I did destroy a part of her life.
I don't even know why am I saying all of these when selfish me hopes for her to wait for me to get better. I love her too much to possibly just give up like this.. I believe something as miraculous as her waiting for me to get better could happen. But the skeptic in me... Fuck this
sigh
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