Hold me down sweet love, I'll carry you home

One of the bestest friend anyone could ever have. Amazing girl 

30th June 2012: An amazing evening for the LGBT community in Singapore + around the region. It was the very first Pink Dot held at night and it attracted a record breaking 15, 000 over people. 

Despite the weather being pretty humid and all that, it was still pretty much a night to remember 'cause I think we are damn lucky to have such a brave group of people stepping up to be the voices of the LGBT community in Singapore. 

Bumped into quite a number of people. It was good, good seeing familiar faces there and even the straight ones! Met Sashé before that to grab *$ and my goodness, it was life saving. Caught up with @cforserious for a bit. It was good, good even though that girl dressed in a way that it seems more appropriate for her to be at one of the lanes in Geylang. #badjoke ya


Headed for dinner after with @lourdecris, @shannnnn, @erasethisgirl, @offtheblue, Vernice(I don't know how to spell her name), Sashé and Sashé's friend, Mel Chia. Had such a fantastic time laughing at someone's middle name but after that, @lourdecris just had to start poking fun at my name. Not cool at all 


It was Bay Beats 2012 after that and in my utmost honest opinion, all the matreps and people in the same radar as them were all dressed so similarly. Excuse me for being blunt but a formal shirt, tailored pants and pointed toes for a gig? You've got to be shitting me, brothers. 


Met Khai and his friends after at Clarke Quay + it was retarded beyond words and I honestly have nothing to say about my time spent from then till 6am. 


Despite my Saturday not going according to how I initially wanted it to, it was nonetheless, a pretty good night + had some good people for company. 


Caught The Amazing Spiderman, had my favourite sugarcane drink + bought a book (Life and Death in Shanghai) with my family on Sunday. Love spending time with them even though they get on my nerves half of the time. With the exception of mom. I love you, mommy. xxx 


x 
Here's to an awesome week for you and I. 

There is a major lack of photos for this post simply because I am too lazy to upload photos from my mobile and these are all taken off Facebook

It will never be

"Why do you still love me after how I left you alone all these while?"


"Because I knew from the day I laid my eyes on you, I was going to love you for the rest of my life. Even though it was painful and crazy seeing you with someone else, I was just fine loving you on the sidelines. My love for you has grown to a point where as long as I am happy loving you, it did not matter much whether you were mine or someone else's. And I always knew from the time you left me, it was never over between us and it will never be"

I'll put one foot right in front of the other, I don't need another new love

2 important final exams for 2 modules this weekend. Work tonight. A bunch of laundry I have to do today from my dive trip to Tioman. 5 hours to get my laundry done + going through what I have studied for a module + get ready for work and here I am writing. Wow


I have got a bunch of photos from the 2 highlights for the month of June. Midnight kite flying + Tioman dive trip. 

Kite flying past midnight with the homiez + Wynona! Sort of in lieu with the chinese celery's birthday. Happy 19th birthday, Cerelia Chinese Celery Kew. Good, good night out even though the cab fare was a definitely killer. 

My diving buddy, Wynona

Charlie, the resident puffer fish for Tioman Reef Divers

Lion Fish

School of fishes

Lack of sleep + dying from dehydration

Dad's favourite thing to do besides diving

Dearest mom + Wynona

Abang, Along, family + Uncle Lee's family

I just had to put this up because mom's caption for this photo is: Still can't make out. HAHAHAHA

Beauty

Daddy + Liyana

School of fishes #02

Clown Fish!

Wynona and I under the sea

Had a good time diving at Tioman. Met many interesting people there. Witnessed a group of chinese Singaporean girls flirting with a really old German guy. Drank every night I was there simply because the alcohol there is ridiculously cheap + the cigarettes too and it is always better to have a nice, long chat over a bottle of beer. Went to play snooker with Abang + Along + Clarissa and pretty obviously, Clarissa and I both sucked at it. Played ping pong at 3am too. Which I sucked at too. Had meals cooked by mom which was a bonus because I'd prefer mom's cooking anytime over outside food.


Highlights of the trip: Spending time with my family, passing my diving exams even though I stayed up late the night before to drink, play snooker, play ping pong and had supper + I did not study at all. Sounds conceited but hey, I am proud of myself. 

Closing this chapter

I'm quite pissed off with blogger because my post which was reverted back into drafts was deleted. Like the whole entire content of my damned post. A post which I poured my heart out into. Balls and I've been sitting here for the past 2 hours trying to rewrite the post with the exact same emotions that I had writing that at 2 in the morning but.... I didn't manage to deliver my words the way it is suppose to be like last night/ this morning. 

As shitty as I feel because I wanted so badly to re-publish that post for that particular someone to be able to READ what's going through my mind, I guess it's a sign to show me that as shitty and miserable I was feeling last night, I guess it doesn't really matter all that much to me now. 

It greatly annoys me when someone is able to text/ WhatsApp/ tweet to others but not reply me. Especially when someone says that she loves me. Ignoring me and degrading me is only going to piss me off even more and I will just end up bugging you even more. 

Whatever it is, I guess this break up is fair and square because you've finally got what you wanted which is me leaving you alone for good and I got what I deserve which is this heartache for having so much faith. As much as I'll always love you no matter what happens, it's time I put myself before you because nothing's going to come out of being sad over this. 

I'm sorry if you feel offended by this post. I know you've tried your best and I do believe you when you told me about your love for me but this is how I honestly feel and I hope you're able to respect it by not lashing out on me for speaking about how I feel. 

I have this amazing capability to mess things up whenever everything's going smoothly. I should really learn how to make my brain think faster than my hands or mouth just so I won't be making the stupidest mistakes I would make in my life. But ah well, too late for regrets.

She's gone.